Wednesday, October 29, 2008
These are supposed headlines from various newspapers....
"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter "
Let's hope this is a true statement, but I don't think so.
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash," Expert Says
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
Now that's taking things a bit far!
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
What a guy!
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
I can see where it might have that effect!
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
Who would have thought!
"Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
They may be on to something!
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"
He probably IS the battery charge
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
Weren't they fat enough?!
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
They shuda staed in shcool.